When she saw me the first time , standing next to her bed, she suddenly got frightened and shouted for help…she called me ‘Master ‘and was really very very scared! I left the room and just hope she will calm down and sleep well!
After I left she calm down and when I phoned this morning Auguste told me that she had a good nights rest.
I phoned her daughter today and asked her about her mother’s life history. I said to her: I think your mother is scared of me ,because I am white! What she told me saddened me immensely.
My mother was as a young women a domestic worker in the Namakwaland. Her white masters sometimes took her with them on holiday to look after their children…she was transported , locked up in the boot of the car, to their holiday place. Sometimes never paid her and let her go hungry to bed!
Today she kept on calling me master in a way that saddens me very much! Once when she turned her face to the wall I softly touches her on her arm and said: I love you very much Auntie Marie!
Than she replied: Dankie oupa ( thank you grandfather)! She could hear me but didn’t see me.
I never will be able to replace the reality of apartheid she is living in , because it is and will always be her reality , but I hope I can help her to create ‘ good feelings ‘ about seeing a white man as some one who really care for her!
DEMENTIA IS AND WILL ALWAYS REVEALS THE SINS OF US AND OUR FATHERS! WE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CHANGE REALITIES OF THE PAST , BECAUSE I AM MY BRAIN….BUT WE CAN STILL CREATE QUALITY OF LIFE THROUGH LOVE!!